When I left school at 16, completed college at 18 or even graduated from university at 21, i never could have anticipated what the 'commute to work' would entail for me in the years to come. 

Today,  I'm taking a taxi to work.

 In Guatemala. 

After flying manchester-JFK-Miami-Guatemala City yesterday, I'm now enroute from the capital city to Puerto Quetzal on the coast. 

Today I join the Celebrity Century for nine days, before flying to Miami for 3 nights and eventually on to Panama to pick up the celebrity Equinox to Barbados. But today is all about Guatemala.

I discover my drivers name is Victor. I have also ascertained that he speaks no English.  And being completely bereft of Espanol myself I'm acutely aware that I am somewhat at the mercy of my septuagenarian escort... In other words, I have no idea whatsoever where I am or where I'm going. 

I take solace in the fact that this is indeed a taxi provided by the port authority so there is some paper trail somewhere that leads back to the ship, even if I don't. 

My hotel is on what seems to be the outskirts of the metropolis and the start of our journey reminds me very much of the back streets of Barbados, wooden shacks interspersed with big name fast food chains. No sooner do we take the first corner before what looks like an early 1980's mobile phone starts to shout and erupt at us from the space between the two front seats. It turns out to be a walkie talkie... Or long range radio device which startles me, not so much because of its size or volume but more because Victors 'code name' from base appears to be 'Blahbio blob blob'.

Now as I've said, my Spanish is virtually non existent but even I am unsure as to whether calling someone 'Blahbio Blob Blob' is a term of endearment. Victor seems sweet enough to me, certainly smiley and courteous and certainly not overweight.  I wouldn't really have seen him as a 'Blahbio Blob Blob' ...more of a 'smileo wrinkle chops' maybe. Just a suggestion. 

As we head out of town the myriad of houses and restaurants give way to miles and miles of hilly agricultural land at the foot of some incredibly spectacular mountain regions. It's apparent we're traversing the base of these foothills as the gradients constantly change but Victor proves to be the most conscientious taxi driver ever, barely ever reaching 80 kilometres an hour, braking constantly and ever more convincing me that the 'Uno hora' estimated journey time may have been a little optimistic on his part. I was relaxed though, and enjoying my albeit brief observations of a country I'd only ever seen from the inside of the port area on a previous trip. 

I was starting to relax, and take an odd photo when Victor uncharacteristically swerved between both lanes, his head 'owl like' facing completely the wrong direction as he pointed and shouted "Activo Activo" .

At first I thought he was cajoling me into a more animated state in the back seat and I contemplated a few stomach crunches to please him or maybe even a quick bout of the 'Macarena' though I admit to never actually knowing any other lyrics but the title. Then I realised to my surprise and his delight that the mountain I was previously so serenely admiring was actually a volcano and its masculine plumes of smoke skywards had propelled victor not only into this most animated state but also almost into the central reservation. Nevertheless we survived....car and victors grin intact and more alert now I returned to my volcano gazing.

 As we slowed to approach the next gas station I used my most pigeon of Spanish to ask victor if there was a bathroom I could use inside. Thankfully 'lavados' though a complete guess, does actually mean toilet apparently. I was relieved. I feared a tasteless game of charades was my other alternative as I imagined squatting and hissing on the forecourt. 

I breezed in through the door only to be greeted by a rather short and incredibly menacing looking  security guard brandishing a rather odd looking but at the same time highly intimidating automatic weapon at least two foot long. My first thought was, 'that's a big gun on such a little dude,' rapidly followed by 'he's literally guarding those Cheetos with his life' 

I hastily peed and left, having been reminded that I wasn't in Bolton anymore toto and that wandering around anywhere in an unfamiliar country on your own is ill advised. 

Within a matter of minutes we were back on the road and still a little unsettled from my coming face to face with the Guatemalan version of Rambo I was beyond shocked to discover that even the shepherds in these parts appeared to rely on guns to protect their flock. As we whizzed past the fields, they stood alert and grimacing, staring over the fences on the road wielding their arms. Not the most welcoming of sights to a tourist, but I was just that, a tourist and felt glad I was headed to a ship and familiar faces soon. 

I was glad to reach the Century and after a rather long wait in the port area as the agent processed my embarkation I looked forward to catching up with my good friend John Grantham the cruise director and several other entertainer pals who happened to be working on the same ship that week. It's the smallest ship in the fleet at 1800 guests but a very friendly and atmospheric vessel. The entertainment and activities were well attended and supported all week and I felt really privileged to be sharing the stage with some of these other incredibly talented individuals. 

Even after ten years since my first cruising experience and only 3 or 4 years regularly working for international cruise brands such as Celebrity, I still

 never tire of the experience of performing my show with an awesome orchestra in a lovely theatre such as this. I'm nobody... especially  to an international audience who have absolutely no initial affinity with this mouthy British songstress. But they were incredibly warm and embracing and I felt veritably giddy at the opportunity to do my thang for these fabulous participants. During my time onboard and 3 (repeated) shows  in total I think the highlight for me had to be the gentleman who joined in so avidly during one of my audience participation numbers. 

During this part of the show I head out into the auditorium and entice various male members  of the audience to sing along to the Etta James hit "I Just Wanna Make Love to You" I've had various rambunctious responses to this ditty in the past, including one participant who actually chased me around the theatre during one show, but this weeks guy had to be one of my favourites. As I approached him he was waving ferociously and as I reached his seat I discovered it was indeed a $20 bill he was brandishing. He proceeded to push the bill into the top of my dress much to the delight of the audience. However as soon as the song finished and I turned to address the rest of the room he swiftly jumped from his seat, lunged over my shoulder and plucked it right out again. I felt like the worlds worst stripper... still fully clothed and tip-less. 

He was a great sport though. I love a good spontaneous heckler. 

As I type, I'm just grabbing a quick meal at Dallas Fort Worth as i have a 2 hour layover en route to Miami. I'm meeting with my agent there tomorrow and we're heading to some meetings with some of the fabulous people currently keeping me in work this side of the pond and beyond. It's an early start tomorrow so a power nap on my next flight might be in order. 

I'm enjoying my adventure so far. Spending the day in San Diego this week was definitely a highlight. It's without doubt one of the friendliest places I've been to in the states. Especially the guys! Very friendly indeed! A brief stop in Cabo also satisfied. It's apparently the second most expensive place in the world to moor a yacht, after Monaco.if I'd known, I'd have worn heels! 

Well, I'm looking forward to part two of this 23 day jaunt away, Panama, the American Virgin Islands amongst other islands beckon.The Equinox is a bigger ship, but its facilities are beautiful and its theatre not unlike any you'd see in London. 

It's days like today, even though I've spent most of the day on the plane, I realise exactly how crazy my life has become. I've been to Mexico, Dallas and Miami. Last week I took a taxi through Guatemala, a guy gave and took back a $20 bill from my cleavage and now believe it or not, an ACTUAL dog is in the seat next to me on the plane.  Not a handbag dog... A Labrador.

I'm not really an animal fan to be honest. And it keeps wagging at my legs.

This could only happen to me. 

Happy New Year one and all.

Its been a LONG LONG time since I posted on this blog but my re-emergence directly co-incides with the anticipated launch of my all new website www.jaynecurry.co.uk

Having realised its the 21st century after all and people like their information to be instant and readily available, my husband has cajoled me into re inventing the way I communicate with the people I meet and have met on board ships and on my other travels. The soon to be re-launched website will allow people to buy CD's online, check my whereabouts, my availability and with the direct link to the blog (which I promise to more frequently update) and even follow me around the world if you so choose. Last year was an inordinately busy year for me and whilst 2014 is looking pretty healthy so far, I'm hoping to be able to spend a little more time with my loved ones and am very much looking forward to the wedding of the century in August this year as my little brother marries his girlfriend of 15 years in a festival themed wedding entitled "Glaston-Curry". To say I am excited is the understatement of the century.

I finished off 2013 with a bang performing at "The Club" Abu Dhabi - a 4,000 member establishment that has been in existence for ex-pats for over 50 years now... longer than the UAE has been in existence. After a busy winter, and a fantastic family Christmas back in the UK, Steve and I were able to travel together to Abu Dhabi and we opted to extend our stay in the region so that Steve could play some golf in preparation for his entry to the Asian tour Qualifying school in February this year. (you can follow his progress at www.asiantour.com ... Steve PARRY not Curry hahaha)
I'll be quite frank.. I didn't go to a lot of this golf.. not when the Dubai Mall, the largest and most visited shopping mall in the world was hosting its annual shopping festival. It was open till 1am each day and tantalised with a cornucopia of daily offers and sales. I was like a pig in the proverbial and thoroughly enjoyed a little "me" time. My choice of pastime didn't seem to irk Steve's golfing preparations any, though I hasten to add that naturally, he shot his best round of golf of the week, on the toughest course he played when I was driving the buggy!

We flew in to Abu Dhabi overnight with Etihad from Manchester landing in the morning of the 31st and after various hiccups managed to snatch a few hours sleep prior to a sound check and a quick bite before the gig. I was to perform 3 x 45 minutes sets, on my own, to almost 700 people who initially were seated at tables around a beautifully ornately decorated swimming pool terrace with food and drinks as far as the eye could see. After a cabaret spot, I performed 2 x dance spots for the already inebriated revellers who knew exactly how to welcome the new year in style, celebrating at midnight with a 10 minute enormous firework display projected from a barge in the sea, directly over the stage they had built on the beach to support my performing area and dance floor. Needless to say, jetlag or no jetlag, Steve and I thoroughly delighted in the opportunity to spend some of this special occasion drinking and dancing together as so frequently we're absent from each other at special times.
The first of the new year was spent mainly in recovery for me after such a full on 36 hours (see picture 2!) but Steve went off to golf and we met later in the day.

After a fantastic week in the UAE, catching up with friends and seeing the sights I'm back in the UK now and have a few days in preparation for my next trip to the Celebrity Century which I pick up on January 14th in Guatemala. This marks the beginning of a year of work which I'm really very much looking forward to, working for companies I thoroughly enjoy being a part of and performing my show to many  nationalities and walks of life from all over the globe. I promise to keep updating the site, if anyone's interested ???? as I'll be visiting some pretty exotic locations in the first four

 

 

months or so of this year: Panama, The US, Langkawi, Namibia to name but a few.
Thank you very much for reading and may I wish you all a very happy and prosperous 2014!!!! Now get that cruise booked ;-)

                               

goodbye Windsurf.. the final furlong...

Hello all. Apologies for the sporadic nature of my posts. I could tell you it was due to lack of internet connectivity but in all honesty I have been busy enjoying my time rather than sitting and writing about it. And now I find myself in the executive lounge at Barbados airport with half an hour to spare, I have time to update.
Yesterday I left the Windsurf. The yacht had been my surrogate home for the last four and a half weeks and it was harder than I imagined bidding farewell to the friends and colleagues I had come to know and respect over the past month. It has certainly been a rollercoaster ride for me... no two days the same, no two shows even comparible but amidst the tears and hugs my departure signified the beginning of the end of my epic caribbean adventure, and the final challenge of six weeks of highs and lows??? .my tranship to the Celebrity Millenium ship this morning in San Juan.
I stayed in a lovely hotel last night in Rockley Barbados and used my ttime there to reflect on the last contract and consider the next (also to dye my hair which has turned out rather disastrously and must be ammended immediately upon my arrival onboard.. sore subject.. wont mention that again)
The ship I join today is the opposite end of the cruising scale to the last. Its a large vessel with a seven piece orchestra. I think it carries almost 2000 passengers in comparison to the mere 300 onboard the Windsurf. I do like the smaller ships, after working for Windstar and Silversea, I am rather fond of the personability and intimacy they lend to my experience. However, the draw of the big band and the possibility of working in the theatre excites me and motivates me and I am equally looking forward to getting my teeth stuck into the fresh challenge.
Inevitably getting on a new ship for a new company I have never worked for before is daunting. I know no one. I am a solo female traveller. It can be intimidating to say the least especially after the veritable family welcome of the less grandios vessels. But I am only six sleeps from home now... and a fresh challenge awaits me... so I must try to remain positive. I am hoping to meet up with two very good friends at the weekend as our ships dock together in Barbados before I fly home Saturday so I am looking forward to that immensely. Unfortunately I miss them by one day in two other ports this week which is unfortunate but the pair of them are a terrible influence on me (pie and beer related debauchery) so maybe its a blessing in disguise. haha.

Some of the highlights of my time onboard Windsurf? Well there are far too many to include them all. But I feel I've learnt a lot. Not factually, but probably more about myself. I'm stronger and weaker than I think I am... (free wine being my downfall I'm afraid) but I have managed to pull myself together on several occasions when I've been struggling with missing my husband and family by keeping my eyes on the prize and surrounding myself with the loveliness of others.
There are some experiences this contract that will stay with me forever, hiking over the hill to the desserted beach in Mayreau, the fabulous day out in Grenada, the rum soaked Catamaran tour and my time on Tobago Cays beach. The valentines party and the farewell Ladies Night party in the crew bar dancing with virtually every crew member at one juncture or another, Chicken Roti on pigeon Island, the crazy Tobin James wine cruise passengers, the fantastic lunch in St Barths, the zodiac trip to the Windspirit to do one of the most enjoyable shows I've ever performed... and last but by no means least, falling on my backside, well actually flat out on my back in the middle of talking to the audience in my show and spending the rest of the week telling everyone I was ok and that all I'd hurt was my pride. (I have fallen over no fewer than 5 times this contract)
But the journey is not yet complete... there are new friends yet to make, new destinations to visit,a suntan to perfect and a gymnasium to reaquaint myself with (mmm that bit's not been going too well....) Then, I have a husband to squeeze very hard, a family to thank for being so solid for me everytime I've wobbled, a brother to tease over turning 30 and a godaughter to cuddle... and less than a week later... another adventure to embark upon. But for now, thankyou to the crew and passengers of the Windsurf, for the fabulous memories and hours of laughter I'll remember for a very long time to come.  xxxxxxx

the sublime to the ridiculous

After what I can only describe as two of the most juxtaposing professional experiences I've had in all my 12 years as a professional entertainer, I feel nothing short of compelled to write again and tell you all about it. If you want to hear.

Clearly so much can occur in two nights.

Wednesdy night was my second show for the Tobin James wine charter group on board the yacht and after the musical pitch invasion and subsequent merriment of Monday evenings show I had decided to subsitute formality for joviality, donned my best Tina Turner-esque shimmery knee-length number back combed my crown and set out to smack them between the eyes with a repertoire of soul, disco and rock and roll.
What awaited me in the venue was definately a somewhat more subdued set of vino lovers who actually wanted to listen and pay attention to what I was doing, and much to my apparent surprise, were incredibly encouraging. In telling the audience directly that I hadn't really been expecting this muted sobriety from them I inadvertedly opened the comedy flood gates by inviting anyone who chose to to join me on the floor for a dance to the pointer sisters classic "Raining Men" .Two ladies took me up on my offer and sprinted for the dance space with fervour and vigour. One such lady was clearly incredibly excited to be there and possibly unbeknownst to her was about to instill exactly the same feeling in about half of the male members of the growing crowd. Unaware as to whether she'd forgotten her knickers when dressing that evening or possibly forgotten her lack of them whilst dancing she treated the entire lounge to an eye-level display of all her femininity.Bounding around in celebratory abandonment the other crew members watching the show to my right sponatenously gasped and laughed in equal measure as i tried desperately to keep my face straight and my voice intune. Stifling a laugh with a cough whilst singing  at a previous humourous employment had induced only "Tommy Cooper-style" comparisons so i just went with it and let the audience do the laughing for me. After further musical festivities, a spot of line dancing, an Axle Rose impersonation and three men in 80's mullet adorned sweatbands I finished the show with a positive reaction from my crowd and a huge sigh of comedy relief from myself.

Yesterday I hot footed it across to the sister yacht the "windspirit" for a 6.30pm show before our own yacht departed the berth in St barths at 9. Captain Bond (I mean John...) came to collect me in the speedboat again and with my fancy frock tucked up the inside of my lifejacket (i insisted on one this time) we bobbed and bounced over to prepare for the show.
They don't have cabarets on the Windspirit as the yacht only holds approx 140 guests at capacity but as a special billing for the repeat passengers party I took myself and my backing tracks to the intimate and well laid out lounge bar and into the unknown really.
I enjoy my job... pretty much 100% of the time these days but seldom have I ever enjoyed a show like last nights. The audience were warm and receptive, appreciative and participatory. Never before have i been given standing ovations mid show and similarly such a hugely warm response from the entire crowd on my conclusion. It gave me great pleasure to perform for this awesome crowd infront of Captain John who had managed to secure me my employment with Windstar cruises by recommending me initially to the company. I still feel like I cant thank him enough but he seemed more than pleased with the outcome of our mutual arrangement and I came back to the Windsurf on the tender boat full of the joys of my profession and with a restored belief in my ability to target a show correctly on occasion.

The two shows couldn't have been more different, I couldn't have been more different and I think I learned equally from both. There is no such thing as being prepared in this industry. You never know what an audience has the ability to throw at you. But my tact I guess is just to roll with it... go with it... embrace it... then blog about it!

... Finally... An update... Sorry

Hello strangers. Apologies for my lack of updates. I'd love to say it's because I've been busy sunning myself (true) having a nice time and meeting people (true) and discovering far off lands (also true) but in reality I had forgotten the password to the account and it's taken me ages to work out how to re set it. Right now I'm typing this with one finger on my iPhone in the "Bath & Turtle" luncheon and beverage establishment in Spanish Town, Virgin Gorda which is in the British Virgin Islands waiting for the imminent delivery of my Chicken Roti. I'd promised myself I wouldn't eat out again this week but Roti's are my favourite and I've been chasing around the islands looking for one for two weeks. It's a chappati/wholemeal wrap style encasement disguising a curry style chicken and potato stew which is indigenous to the west indies. Can you tell I'm salivating while I wait???

At present the windsurf is being chartered by a food and wine group associated with the Tobin James winery in California. To say they are a lively bunch is understatement of the century. The wine is free and flowing 24/7 so as you can predict attempting to perform a "show" two nights ago was futile. Tonight I am disposing of the cocktail dress in favour of a little sparkly number I'd packed for the eventuality of a crew show, hitting them with all uptempo numbers and no chat or banter. Shame for me because it's not really playing to my strengths but I'm adamant it's important to give an audience what they want wherever possible, even if it means stretching the remit somewhat.
Tomorrow the yacht is docked alongside the sister yacht the "windspirit" again and I am popping over to perform a show for them. If you remember on my last post I told you how I was hoping for a "James Bond" style speedboat trip to visit the windspirit last week. Well, true to his word captain John came for me and whilst he almost killed me (slight exaggeration... It was kind of my own fault for insisting on wearing heels when trying to embark an inflatable boat in a cotton dress and choppy seas) I had a very lovely day and felt every inch a pasty chubby version of Ursula Andres or Halle Berry as we bounced over the waves in the bay of Gustavia, St Barts. I'm assuming tomorrow I won't repeat said journey in my purple full length cocktail dress but instead will arrive incognito like the veritable rock star I am (ahem) and surprise them with a few numbers at their repeaters party at tea time. I'm looking forward to it.

Things I have seen/done since last I "blogged"

Had a fantastic lunch in an amazing 10 room only boutique hotel on the otherside of St Bart's with friends of capatain johns and their friends who FLEW IN for lunch from Anguilla!!!

Played an impromptu jamming session on board with the in house resident band "Top Society" and a 4 piece accoustic group from Seattle, "Four".

Drank free wine. (quite a bit)

Have an excellent personal training programme written for me by the onboard fitness coach which whilst very hard and not conducive to my plight to avoid publicly sweating, is proving to be very affective. (well I FEEL thinner)

Been to airport beach in St Maarten where people literally can stand feet away from an aeroplane about to take off and get virtually sandblasted into the sea by the force of the engines. (I observed...I am not mental)

Ate ribs and chicken barbecue style at a local suburban Caribbean backstreet restaurant with the casino staff.


Continued to battle with the constant threat of being upstaged by the sweet treats of the onboard "dessert extravaganza" as I am constantly usurped by it in the scheduling.

Missed home. A lot. But realised how inordinately lucky I am to be able to make a living having such amazing life experiences.

Hope to hear from some of you soon. Has no one worked out how to comment yet???

Greetings from St Barths in the French Antilles

In a cafe on the harbour scoffing my chicken salad and updating you all on the trip so far.
I had already written a lengthy blog on the flight down here from Miami but my silly computer wont let me copy and paste it so I have had to start again. Grrrr I joined the "Windsurf" yesterday in St Maarten and I'm all settled in now for the four and a half week stint I am about to undertake onboard.

Well, needless to say the weather here is gorgeous... just hot enough, gentle brezze an operation "Extreme Makeover" commences today (hence the chicken salad and not the house burger I wanted to order.) I intend to try and lose a few pounds whilst I'm away...get a tan and grow my hair.. hence the makeover. I'll be veritably unrecognisable on my return. That is, if I can keep off the sauvignon Blanc of which there is a spectacularly yummy example being sold on the yacht. ( I am informed I'm not to call it a ship as it is indeed a Motor Yacht)

At the weekend I performed at the "Addison Reserve Paps Corps" annual cancer fundraiser in Delray Beach Florida. Yes it was as grand as it sounds. Tens of thousands of dollars were raised on the night and through the golf tournament held in the day for this worthy cause and I felt honoured to be part of it. And after a fabulous weekend staying with Joy and Russ Leavitt, who had booked me for the occasion having seen me perform on a cruise last year, I am currently residing back on said vessel for several one week itineraries around the caribbean islands. Joy and Russ treated me to some spectacular hospitality over the weekend and after pizza and ribs, popcorn and shrimp, I am trying very hard to be sensible for the duration of my time away... though the food on board is spectacular and the baguette that came with my salad is staring at me saying "eat me eat me!!"

I have a show tomorrow night at 6pm, very unusually scheduled as I am effectively to be the warm up act for the "dessert parade" which is programmed for the prime time entertainment slot in the lounge at 10pm. Yes thats right, I've been bumped for a Meringue. The highlight of my career so far undoubtedly.. the support act for Baked Alaska! I know my place.

The next two weeks the ship has been chartered by two food and wine clubs which is excellent news (but not for my diet) as the last time this particular group travelled on the yacht they brought 4,500 bottles of wine with them for 300 passengers. Needless to say, alledgedly the staff also enjoyed their share of the free booty and whilst this could prove fundamental to the task of keeping my bar bill to a minimum this contract, it is by far not the most surprising news I have heard today.
An unofficial, yet very reliable source informs me the aforementioned food and wine group are bringing their own entertainment with them in the form of a band from Seattle and I have been "tipped off" that there is no current space in the entertainment programme for next week for my shows. So yes, without spelling it out or rubbing it in, it does appear that I am being paid to take a holiday next week. If Carlsberg did jobs... promise not to go on about it! I WILL of course be volunteering my services to do a crew show, or a band set or even to take one or to of the duo's slots off their hands in the smaller bar upstairs if they should deem this appropriate. I am not a complete freeloader and have OF COURSE brought outfits for pretty much every professional and personal situation that may arise during my time away. This miracle of micro packing being attributed solely to the fabulous vacuum bag I acquired from "Yabba Dabba Doo's" tat shop in Skegness in October. For those of you across the pond perusing this, a tat shop is a store that pretty much sells all kind of silly things you kind of didn't realise you needed till you went in... like mulit puprose inflatable tools, drain cleaner and Liverpool Football clubs 2007 collectors sticker book.The vacuum bags however are a MARVELLOUS invention. I squeezed 3 full-on bejewelled work dresses, netting and all, 15 knee length cocktail dresses, (I dont like to repeat too often!) 2 robes Joy gave me in Miami and 2 cotton shopping bags into the vacuum bag, attached the hoover and sucked the living daylights out of every inch of oxygen in that bag... so that all my swag now fits into a carrier that is designed to hold 3 suits. Granted, the handle fell off when I picked it up...BUT I GOT THEM IN!!! Its a travelling revelation.

Anyway, my good friend Captain Clark who I had the fortune to sail with on Island Cruises a couple of years ago, and who recommended me to Windstar for the contracts I now enjoy was onboard just for a night of my stay yesterday and today has rejoined the sister vessel the "Windspirit" which is berthed in St Barts with us today. I had a most enjoyable evening with him last night, drinking wine and eating lobster (its a dirty job...but someone has to) and am looking forward to next week when the yachts are berthed together againen John informs me he's sending a boat to come and get me from the Windsurf so I can have a nosey around the Windspirit and a spot of lunch with him. I like the idea of that... someone sending a boat for me. I did 84 flights last year, hundreds of taxi journeys, train connections... you name it. But no one has ever sent a boat for  me before. I am holding him to it! Watch this space!

Because I am new to this blogging lark I have not yet worked out how to upload pictures etc to the page. I will work on this wherever I get wifi.. I'll be a female Bill Gates by the end of the trip just you watch.
Well folks, thanks for your time. Enjoy your day. I'm off to power walk around the harbour to burn of the end of the baguette i just snaffled (I am weak)
Wish me luck in my quest for tanned skinnyness!!
Miss you all already

xxx

...stimulating my grey matter...

Hello there one and all (more likey to be one than all at this point)
After fervent cajoling from various members of my family and an inate desire to "contribute" to this new fangled phenomenon of cyber space everyone is "twitter-booking" about, I thought I'd bring to the table a short composition intermittently to let you all know whats going on throughout my international globe trotting adventures.

Imminently, I am about to embark on what is rather an epic series of journeys, even by my standards, as on Saturday I leave the UK for what will be six weeks in total. Thanks to the current state of the British Economy, I have taken what appears to be a sagacious decision in principle to "get my head down" and deposit six weeks of solid earnings into the bottomless pool that is ones mortgage debt, in an attempt to switch to a better deal on my return. And whilst my finances are doubtless of little or no interest to you, now you understand my motivation for my self imposed excile on the seven seas, you might show me an occasional iota of sympathy if I wander into the realms of feeling ever so slightly sorry for myself on the world wide web.

I ordinarily take much shorter contracts than these with regular flights back to the UK and therefore some semblence of normality. Whilst that qualifies me not only for a plethora of various airline loyalty schemes and an indepth knowledge of world wide panini fillings (an airport favourite internationally, I discover) I think the best way to acheive my said goals is to grit my teeth and get on with it .All at once...so I cant spend the money on shoes!!
Saturday 7am sees me take my first flight to Miami to perform at the Addison Reserve Golf Club Delray beach's annual cancer fundraiser. And whilst I appreciate a lassy from Lancashire might not be the obvious choice for Joy and Russ leavitt, responsible for helping to organise the event, I was lucky enough to make their acquaintance onboard a ship last year and subsequently am very much looking forward to re visiting their home. They were kind enough to accomodate my husband Steve and I on a recent pre cruise christmas visit to Florida in their splendid home on the reserve, and in return for Steve giving Russ the occasional bunker lesson (my husband is a golf pro for those of you who were unaware) they made us the best breakfasts we've ever had. If you've been lucky enough to try a "Flagel" you'll know why.
Sunday the 30th January is the show at the golf reserve and then at some point that week I will be making my way down to Barbados to join the "Windsurf" on Sunday, the worlds largest sailing yacht at sea. At a little over 300 passengers, its an intimate and incredibly personable vessel, on which I was fortunate enough to perform several times last year, and indeed where I met Joy and Russ. (and Alan and Joan...hi Alan and Joan!!) Its the largest of three vessels in the Windstar fleet and will be "home" for me for the duration of the 4 x 1 week itineraries around the caribbean islands I am to be a part of during the month of February. After the harsh winter we've experienced in the UK in 2010 (well, you did, I was in Singapore, Chile, Brazil, Bali...etc) I must say the prospect of a permanent tan and the excellent hospitality onboard and what I deem to be the BEST BED I've EVER slept in would lead you believe I am indeed the luckiest woman on the planet. And that I am. No complaints coming from this corner. I am effectively being paid to sit on a sunlounger for four weeks and drag myself to the lounge for two shows a cruise. Stupidly easy job... I know. But obviously there is some level of personal sacrifice involved in undertaking a contract of any length...and there are some things I will miss... a lot.
However, throughout the next six week I endeavour to mildly entertain myself updating this "blog" (sounds like a blocked bowel to me!!) and letting you in on some of the stories and adventures, folks I meet, places I see and with as little meretriciousness as possible.
Thanks for joining the "following"
Keep me updated on what you're up to.

And before I leave... a huge thank you to everyone whos mademy current international venture possible... by supporting me on my 84 flights a year, listening to me whine on when I miss connections, lose my luggage, get heckled, miss home and all the other tribulations involved in living life as a veritable sea-gypsy
You know who you are